January 2012
scrantontheelectriccity:
you know my name and everything I choose to post on facebook however explicit the details, not my story
friend: my mom says you can't come over tonight
me: tell her i'm suicidal
darrencr1ss:
who needs punctuation when you can just end every sentence with omg
December 2011
slameronhurley:
Instead of kissing someone on new years I’m gonna punch someone in the face
100newfears:
i’m 2% scottish, 1.5% british, 3% french, 5% german, .5% italia-
so you’re white
friend: *sees picture of favourite celebrity* oh, they're quite good-looking!
me: do you think so
me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
friend: what
me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they
“It bothers me that no one has the patience to deal with someone who is just sad.”
– Emily Haines (via alexismarie)
dimestorepoet:
why do i bother going to school all of my good jokes are wasted there on people who don’t understand
“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul,...”
– Sylvia Plath (via goddamnitjenny)
people: are you mad/sad or something?
me: this is just my face
1 tag
dad: is everyone waiting on me?
me: yeah we are
dad: was i talking to you peanut?
sanfran:
rachelayne:
sanfran:
why does all the good stuff in life cost so much
I didn’t know happiness and love had a price
calm down gandhi
me: i'm so lonely omg i just want someone to talk at me
someone: hey
me: no not you
brazilian20cm:
remember that microwave from the spy kids movie where they put some plastic things on it and when heated it turned out into a whole mcdonalds meal someone should make one of those
“Call me what you wish
and no matter what that is
I will call you home.”
– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott)
fffcuk:
why are girls like “oh it’s december i need a boyfriend to keep me warm” no you can buy a coat like the rest of the single people
“I like your Ed Hardy shirt”
– Nobody (via ladylunaaa)
me: hey what's up
vegetarian: i'm a vegetarian
cashier: and what's your e-mail address?
me:
cashier:
me:
cashier:
me:
cashier:
me:
cashier:
me: yummigurl69@hotmail.com